Maybe I'm not a gothic-emo-kind-of-girl that thinks that life is useless, but I'm quiet a pessimistic person. But, MAYBE, my 'packaging' is not that pessimistic. And somehow it's fun being a pessimistic, because life goes your way. You know, things happen when you least expect it.
People say 'Hope for the best, prepare for the worst'. Sometimes when I tried to change my mind, and tried to think from the positive side things got worse. It didn't go my way. And I was hurted even more. So I made a conclusion to prepare for the worst, and do NOT hope for the best, but do NOT hope for the worst (do you think there's a person that hopes for the worst?), and do your best.
Some says that it's just the same as a bench-mark-degradation, but no, it's not a bench-mark-degradation, it's just... Preparing for the worst, because things don't always go your way. But I can't lie, of course there are some situations that was an exception. Like EVERYTHING related with him. Ahuahuaua silly. So I can't say that I was a real pessimistic person. But for a pessimistic, I'm quiet optimistic (ahuahua it's paramore's song).
But now, (since about a month or less ago) I'm trying to look from the brightside. I'm trying to improve my badside, to be less sensitive, moody, and etc etc blah blahs. If I fail, let's just say it's life, there are ups and downs.
I'm trying to forgive (even if it's kinda hard for me, and seriously it was really hard for me), to look things in the different way, to feel what others feels (read: more and more empathy). Ah, better me.
So the conclusion is, I'm trying to be better. And I'm trying to be more optimistic. And please, if you're my friend, help me through this change. And, will you try to fix your bad characters? If you really are my friend, then there are takes and gives. If I try to be better, then you have to try to be better (actually it's not like a drop dead theory, but these are the simple words). So, yeah. Please at least help me through this confusing condition, because my 'negative' side meets and crashes with my 'positive-oh-lala' side.
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